Friendliness

Ever since I layed to rest my poor broken iPod, I’ve become more tuned into the whole greeting-strangers thing, during my daily walks. I mean, nature’s great, but did that guy return my “hello”? If I rated places based on greeting, 10 being the friendliest, most cities would fall into the 4-5 range. Asheville, NC gets a 10. It was not uncommon for people to stop their vehicles and ask if I needed a ride. Drivers would wave and usually other pedestrians would initiate the greeting, always with a smile. This isn’t a walking story, but once I was parked in my car, looking at the want ads for a Subaru in the local paper. And whaddya know, a Subaru pulled up right next to me (that’s not the unusual part; 80% of vehicles in Asheville are Subarus). The guy got out, glanced over at me and said, “Don’t get anything before ’99.” That was customary in Asheville, strangers striking up a conversation as if it was in the middle.

Stamford, CT was the most unfriendly, with folks commonly averting their eyes or turning their heads away to avoid a greeting. I suppose I can’t give them a “1” since no one ever attacked me. The 4-5 range includes Attleboro, MA; Greenbelt, MD; Wichita, KS; Rehoboth Beach, DE (off season); Garden City, KS; Albuquerque; Phoenix; San Diego; Los Altos, CA; Santa Rosa, CA (although the other day I was stopped at a red light with my NC plates, and a woman pulled up next to me and called out, “Welcome to California!”); Houston (although the entire staff at MD Anderson is exceptionally friendly, but do you have to have cancer to get some sugar in Houston?); Muncie, IN; Providence, RI; Elk Grove, CA; Bern, Switzerland (I won’t hold it against the guy who visibly distanced himself from me after I mistakenly, yet happily, greeted him with “Danke schön” instead of “Grüezi,” which means hello in Swiss-German).

Most folks don’t initiate a “hello” but most will return one, and will say the exact greeting I said to them. Like if I say “good evening” they’ll say “good evening.” I should try danke schön. Most won’t smile, even to return a smile, and sometimes they have a pained expression. Those folks can usually only manage a nod.  I exempt runners and bikers from greetings, since they’re concentrating. But pedestrians? C’mon. You’d think people with dogs or kids would be friendlier, but nope.  You’d also think people who are walking at a park would be friendlier. Nope. Initiating a greeting is nearly impossible when people won’t look at you, and folks with earphones might as well wear a sign saying “don’t even….”.

Yesterday I saw a beautiful 14 year old boy, running along the trail at a lovely park in Santa Rosa. He ran shirtless and I was captivated by his fit and healthy young body. His wavy, shoulder-length, light brown hair bounced with each stride, and I had the surreal experience that he moved in slow motion, with an aura of light around him. As we neared each other he looked right at me -through me - and with a magnificent smile, declared, “Hello!”

I changed my mind about getting another iPod.