Let It Go

I recently learned that my mother’s former landlord, Debra, robbed her of her security deposit. In early April we met with Debra for a "walkthrough." The only two flaws Debra found in this 2000 square foot house, were a shallow scratch on the black marble facing of the fireplace, and a discoloration on the dark green carpet, approx. 6 inches x 2 inches, located 3 feet from one of the living room walls.  The discoloration looked like it had been bleached, although neither Mom nor I knew where it came from. Other than those two things, the house was spotless (my sister Valerie cleaned it). The security deposit was $1150. Mom received a check for  $24.73. Neither defect would have prevented the sale or rental of the house. And we kinda suspect that Debra isn’t really going to fix those things.

I feel angry and also protective of my mother. However, we’d seen signs of Debra’s psychological decline since last December, thus we weren’t surprised. She came to the walkthrough full of piss and vinegar, and ended up shouting at my mother (she wanted to deduct the cost of last October's sewer repair from the deposit). Mom held her own, but got upset. It was such an ugly scene. I tried to make peace, shedding light on the cause of the misunderstanding, but Debra was having none of it. A few days later I suggested to Mom that we let Debra keep the money. But Mom wanted to see it through. To her credit, she’s not having a hard time letting this go, but I am.

I want to confront Debra, lecture her, shake her, show her how wrong she is, throw her pain right in her face, call her names, call her conscience on the carpet. But the thought of taking this to court deflates me.

I need to regard Debra in the same way I’d regard a person laying on the sidewalk, bleeding. Yes she robbed Mom, but that’s because she’s in such pain. We don’t have to be victims, just because Debra victimized us. And it’s only my limited human brain with its human thoughts which tells me that the story is over. This story isn’t over, even though many years may go by and it may not involve Debra. It’s not about the money. It’s about not holding anger and hatred. Debra holds anger and hatred and look what happened to her.